Who do you turn to when you are bursting to share good news?
Guess what happened today, Mommy?
I got a 95% on my test!
My friend got engaged!
I got the job!
I learned to tie my shoe!
I found a gorgeous dress on sale!
The scan came back clear!
• • •
Why is it that so often, we only turn to Hashem when the going gets tough? Perhaps because I think I can do it all until I realize that I cannot. Then I realize that I need Him.
Perhaps because, by nature, we are wired for survival, in default mode, we immediately focus on what needs to be fixed. Which is a good thing.
But maybe, beyond default mode, lie amazing horizons of possibility and connection and a more enriched relationship with Hashem.
Moreover, Hashem knows better than I do what I need, so why daven?
Is it for Him? No. Is it for me? Yes.
But it is also for Him to see that we want the connection.
As parents, there are times we know our child will benefit from independence, so we guide him and send him off. We stand on the sidelines with messages of encouragement and empowerment. Other times, the child resists help and we stand on the side waiting for him to reach out and ask for guidance. And when a child randomly thanks you for doing the laundry or another task you have been doing anyway, does your heart not swell? He notices your place in his life. He wants to connect, and in that moment, a simple “thank you” means everything.
The Fibers of Connections
The main part of Tefilla, the Shemoneh Esrei, consists of three parts: Shevach- Praise, Bakasha- Requests, Hodaah- Gratitude. Therein lies a template for our connection to Hashem beyond the siddur and into our hearts.
If you pay attention, you will find that usually our random statements throughout the day will fall under one of those three categories.
Imagine if, for one day, we would challenge ourselves to actually convert each of our seemingly generic statements into a tefilla, a fiber of connection with Hashem.
When you find yourself mumbling:
“Where in the world is that shoe?”, transform it to “Hashem, please help me find the toddler’s shoe!” That is Bakasha.
“Why is there never any parking here?” transformed to “Hashem, please help me find a parking spot so that I can get to the doctor on time. I'm trying to take care of your kids!” There is the bakasha, again!
“There's a spot- Oh no, it's a handicapped spot!” becomes Hodaah when we say, “Baruch Hashem, we can't park in the handicapped spot!”
“I can't believe I found the item I needed for her costume on sale!” Shevach and Hodaah this time! Add in a "Baruch Hashem!" And you're set.
“I'm not sure if we should go ahead with the shidduch, but can you believe the timing?” Shevach, even when things are not so clear-cut. Perhaps, “Hashem will help us make the right decision, but the Hashgacha here is clear.”
“I wonder how my child’s day is going” transformed to “Hashem, please help him make good decisions today! Please let the Rebbe see his sweetness!” Bakasha!
“The garbage can is full again! I just emptied it!” transformed to “ A full garbage can means we all ate well! Baruch Hashem!” Hodaah at its finest!
“Wow! What a gorgeous sunset!” is Shevach, as is! Even better, “Wow! What a gorgeous sunset Hashem made! Thank you, Hashem, for giving me eyes to enjoy it!”
“I still have so much on my to-do list today” transformed to “Hashem, help me stay calm as I make one more phone call while at the traffic light!” Bakasha, again!
“Those sheets of rain are making it hard for me to drive” transformed to “Hashem, thank you for this refreshing rain! The car needed a good shower. Please let us get home safely!” Bakasha, Hodaah, Shevach altogether!
Each comment-turned-tefilla, each complaint-turned-tefilla is another fiber of the rope in our connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That is the power of small tefillos. When we have Hashem’s Name on our lips, in various forms, throughout our day, we find how much we need Him, how much He gives us, and how incredible He is.
I begin to realize how He is inextricably woven into every moment of my day and every thought in my mind, every breath in my lungs, and every ache in my heart. I reach out to Him with every whisper of thanks, every cry of pain, and every celebration, no matter how small or big.
The more you pull Him into the smaller moments, the more you will see His chassadim everywhere. And when something works out, big or small, you’ll go running to share the good news in appreciation.
• • •
The Nachash was given everything he needed and banished from chance for connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He eats the dirt of the earth for all of eternity and has no need to reach out to Hashem.
But Hashem says to us, “I want you close!” so He invites us to seek out the connection- in what we want, in what we love, and in what we find awe-inspiring.
• • •
Is my relationship with Hashem reminiscent of that of the older relative whom you see once every few years at a family reunion?
Or do I want to speak to my Father every day? Sometimes for comfort, other times for encouragement, sometimes for guidance, and other times for appreciation. Nuanced, vulnerable, less curated, and so much more authentic.
My “small” tefilla is my hand outstretched to my Father, the Source of Everything, inviting Him into my heart, the home of my happiness and my pain, my past achievements and my future goals.
It is me saying, “I want You close!”
